My Story

I was sitting in a meditation hall on the Sunshine Coast of Australia. Outside, kangaroos lolloped lazily in the winter sun. 

It was the ninth day of a silent meditation retreat, and if I’m honest, I felt like I was getting nowhere. My mind was stuck in a loop of negative thoughts, and my favorite pastime—comparing myself to others—was in full swing. I kept obsessing about how much better the other 60 meditators must be doing. The irony, of course, was that I couldn’t know a thing about them. It was a silent retreat, after all.

Comparing myself to others has always been my “go-to” habit.

Years earlier, this need to live up to expectations had led me to join the British Army. It seemed like the logical step, given my family’s history of service, but deep down, I was trying to prove I belonged. Unsurprisingly then, I felt like an imposter. I put on a face that I knew what I was doing, but underneath I was often shaky. 

When I left the Army, I swapped one set of expectations for another: the “safe” career, the desk job, the clear path forward. But ignoring what I truly wanted only led to more anxiety, confusion, and resentment.

My soul longed for purposeful adventure.

A turning point came while walking the Camino de Santiago in northern Spain. For the first time in a long time, I felt space to breathe and to simply be. Along the way, a fellow pilgrim told me, with a twinkle in their eye, about a silent meditation retreat they’d attended. Something inside me lit up—I knew I had to try it. 

Two years later, there I was, on the Sunshine Coast, grappling with big questions after being made redundant from a job in Singapore. I was seeking clarity and didn’t know where to turn.

By day nine of sitting still and looking inward, my patience was wearing wafer thin and my sense of inadequacy was rising to fever pitch. Then, in the middle of all my frustration, the teacher said something that stopped me in my tracks.

‘Wherever you are is exactly where you need to be.’ 

As soon as I began the next meditation, those words sank in, and something remarkable happened. A surge of energy swept through my body, and I felt a visceral, undeniable connection to everything around me. For hours, I was flooded with awe, joy, and a sense of unity that defies words.

That experience was another turning point. Over time, I came to see that it wasn’t my circumstances, or my emotions and thoughts that were holding me back—it was my resistance to them. Fear, doubt, and feelings of “not being enough” had created walls within me. The more I surrendered to my experience, the more I felt myself rise.

This shift transformed my life and how I guide others today. I invite people to meet themselves fully, just as they are, and to embrace the present moment with honesty, compassion, and curiosity—even when resistance appears. Because when we stop fighting against where we are and instead choose to meet it, we unlock unimaginable growth, find trust in our next steps and feel deeply supported along the way.

I began to understand that the adventure I had been chasing in the world “out there” was only part of the story; the greatest adventure was inward. And I realised adventure for adventure’s sake was not enough - it had to connect with meaning. This experience on the Sunshine Coast marked the first time I touched on something I could offer to others that would give my life meaning.

When we know who we truly are and what we uniquely have to offer, comparison fades. Everyone is on their own journey.

I wonder—what is yours?